Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
