it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We are two peas in an std pod
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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