I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
