Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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