there's paper in my vomit.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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