I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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