Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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