Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
