Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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