On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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