My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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