I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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