I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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