My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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