I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
