you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
