my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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