Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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