She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
