Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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