he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
