I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
