Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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