alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
did you just send me my own nude
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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