wanna go halves on a baby?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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