I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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