youre lurking in front of me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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