i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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