Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
