After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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