I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
