I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
