I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
