Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize