So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
