Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
