Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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