2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
