Your tits are I can't wait for
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
What a dumb baby whore.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
