I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
