Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
