in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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