I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
