well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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