my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
