just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
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I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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