I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
