we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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