question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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