I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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