but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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