oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
