the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
