It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
