It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
