come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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