fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Two words: blizzard sex
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
