Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
