yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
